Auld Lang Syne

Should old acquaintances be forgotten,
And never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintances be forgotten,
And days of long ago !

Have you ever wondered what this means exactly?
Why would old acquaintaces be forgotten?


I am sure it is a little too early to be wishing you a Happy New Year, but I am just ready for 2006 to be done, and 2007 to just start already. Come on let's get that ball started on its way down.

D and I sat down and wrote a few of our resolutions & plans for 2007

1. Get in shape(I am sure that is on everyone's list)
2. Be very diligent and motivated with my new embroidery business(more info to follow)
3. Clean up my potty mouth(really only a problem when I am angry or frustrated)
4. Finish our family scrapbook, so I can start on lifebook for the babe.
5. Make sure we go on a really great vacation(the last one by ourselves for a long time)
6. Keep to a stricter budget
7. Stop shoppy shoppy for baby clothes, and only buy for nursery right now.
8. Get nursery painted, look for a dresser, and armoire.
9. Start mandarin lessons
10. D and I are going to take dance lessons together
11. Watch less TV!!(WOW, this one is going to be the hardest)
12. Work on a calmer energy
13. No more procrastinating....check things off the task list.
14. Be better about saying NO to things, and be better about setting my boundaries.
15. Stop the obsessing about the wait...I can't do anything about it, and obsessing is not getting me any closer to China.(easier said than done)

So that is what I have planned for 2007. Most of these are doable, needed, and the follow through on these should be relatively painless, except for.....#12, and #15, okay #11 is not going to be easy, or painless.

Let me know what your plans are for the New Year, you might have some on your list that I need to add to mine:)

Here's a cling of my champagne glass, and wishing everyone a bright and happy 2007!

************Thank you to everyone who left such sweet messages about Matty. The crying has slowed up, but I am missing her more than I could have ever imagined. For those that contacted me, thank you again, your words were so appreciated, and needed.************

In Memory

Well sorry it has been so long since I have posted. We have been going through one of the hardest things our family has gone through in a long time. It is so ironic that my last post was of our beloved dog Matty.
Last Monday I noticed that she was not getting around well, and thought her back was acting up, so as usual I started her on her meds, which usually gets her back in treat mode in a day or two. Well on Wednesday I could tell she still was not feeling that great, so I told D that I would run her to the vet on Thursday morning. When I went to pick her up to take her out to the car she literally cried out in pain...what the hell was going on is all I could think. The vet checked her over, and felt like her back was fine, but discovered that she was not putting weight on her front right paw. So they said they needed to keep her, and do some x-rays. When they called that afternoon to let me know to come get her...the vet says to me that we will have to wait until the radiologist reads the films, but that it appeared that Matty had bone cancer. Well right in the middle of the holiday shopping madness of the mall I began to silently sob. My sweet little companion was really sick.
I went to get her, and she was in bad shape. They gave us very strong oral painkillers, and sent us home telling us that we would hear about her x-rays on Mon or Tues. I had enough drugs to last the weekend they said. Well Thursday night we got not a wink of sleep, the drugs were not strong enough for her. She was in pain. So we took her back first thing on Friday, and they put her on a morph patch, and said to continue with the oral pain meds as well. But they said the patch would take 6-8 hours to really start to work.
In the mean time D was scheduled to go out of town for work on Saturday, so he called my MIL to come up from Houston to be with me and help with Matty. So she was being picked up at the airport, I had workers installing new countertops in our kitchen, and D was at the other airport picking up his bosses dog that we were scheduled to dog sit for 18 days. I was just having a meltdown.
Me and my MIL sat with Matty until about 8:00 Friday evening...she was not getting any better. The pain was really bad, and the drugs weren't working, she stopped letting me give her water from a dropper around that time. So I finally called the emergency animal hospital, talked to a very nice vet, she told us to bring her in and they would give her a morphine shot and something like valium to help her get settled, and get ahead of the pain. So that is what we did, by the time we got her back in the car to come home, she was out, but her breathing was still very labored. We got home around 12:30 a.m. we got in bed around 1:00, checked on her at 2:30, and when I awoke at 4:00 to check on her our beloved Matty had passed away. She was quietly laying on her favorite bed, in her favorite room looking just as she always looked when she slept peacefully. I just began to sob, while D just sat next to her with tears streaming down his face.
I knew that we all would be heartbroken, and very sad when this time came. But no one could have ever prepared me for the pain that my heart feels. I am not sure right now that I have ever been this sad, nor my heart literally hurt as much as it does. I was not prepared for this. To say our house will never be the same is an absolute understatement. I have never had to be in our house alone...Matty has always been here with me, she goes everywhere in the car with us, she tells me when it is 5:00 p.m. and time to start dinner for us, and for her. I will never hear her snore again, I will never hear her yodel again...and I never got it on tape. I will never get to take her on a walk again, she won't be outside chasing the squirrels while I clean the pool, she won't be there to go get the mail with me, and she will never get to meet this baby that is coming home to us. I never really got to say goodbye to her, and I feel like I failed her by not making sure that she was not in pain anymore. So right now I am really struggling with my sorrow and grief, but I am also struggling with my guilt.
I am so happy, and thankful that my MIL is here, she has been a tremendous support system, she has sat with me and cried, she has told me all of her favorite memories of Matty, and promises me that I did everything I could do-maybe not the vet, but D and I did everything we could do for her, and she knew how much we loved her. I pick up her ashes tomorrow, and so I know it is going to be a very difficult day for me. D doesn't get home until Wednesday, I look forward to him being at home and having him to work through our grief together.
We have cancelled Christmas at our house. Funny thing is I have not been much in the Christmas spirit this year, and have failed to erect any decorations. I thought it was because I was feeling a bit depressed about the wait, but I think it was because somehow I knew we weren't going to be celebrating this year.
I am not sure how long it will be before I feel like updating, or really have anything to update about. I know that I am going to try to take these last few weeks of the year to get myself mentally ready for the New Year. I wish you all a happy holiday, whatever holiday you might be celebrating. Mostly I wish you a happy, healthy and prosperous 07'

I do want to say Thank you to the friends that I have heard from these last couple of days. Your very sweet thoughts, and just your understanding of what a very sad time this is for our family is so nice. So thanks for taking the time to let me know you are thinking of us.



By the way, it is our 3-month anniversary of our LID. 3 down, 21 to go. Now that is progress.

It's a dogs life

Look it's Matty. This is our almost 12 year old cocker spaniel. She was given to me when she was just 8 weeks old. My MIL gave her to me as a gift, and it may be one of the best gifts I have ever received. She is so incredibly smart(no inbreeding here...nosirreeeee bob) She has a vocabulary of about 50 words or so, she doesn't puddle like others in her breed, and she loves kids-actually the smaller they are, the more she likes them. She will start to whimper if she sees kids in the car next to us. She is a treat "whore" she will do anything for a treat which her favorites are baby carrot's, these doggy mints I get at Wal-mart, the end of D's banana in the morning. But she is not really picky about what she might beg from you, she will eat anything except tomatoes*fyi, we don't give her people food all that often, she acts like we do, but just the carrots* She will purposely ask to go out, pretend that she went potty, and then come in and ask for a treat (so she has got us trained) She now has to sleep in our master bathroom because she snores sooooooo loud. She insist that D say hello and give her a carrot before he even looks my way when he gets home from the office. She will start yodeling if he doesn't follow the order. I will have to get that on video sometime...Absolutely hilarious.
She had back surgery for a ruptured disc last Thanksgiving (those damn squirrels taunting her and making her run and jump up and down our retaining walls) and then we proceeded with physical therapy after that. I was driving 4o miles round trip to see her everyday, and then again to take her to physical therapy(not sure who else I would do this for???) So now she can't get up on any furniture(that is why she doesn't sleep with us anymore) and we also have to carry her up and down the stairs. So now we have gates everywhere to make sure she isn't trying to do it herself anymore.
Matty has a list of nicknames: Matty P, Cocker P, Master Pony, Missy Moo, Pog(pig +dog=Pog) Fatty Matty, the list goes on, but I will spare you. She is the center of attention at our house. When the kids call home they never foget to ask about Matty. We take her with us almost everywhere we go. In the summer I still take her with me, but I have combo locks on my car, so I can leave my car running, lock her in, and still keep her cool. It does get so hot that she will finally make it clear that she has no interest in the ride.
We are so lucky to have some old neighbors that love Matty, and if we go out of town they always watch her for us. She loves going over there almost as much as they love having her. They love her so much that she has been in their Christmas card picture with their kids...so funny when I opened it up, and realized that our dog was in their picture.
She can tell time, she absolutely knows when it is 5:00 p.m. that is dinner time as far as she is concerned, and if you are not right there to do it, she will come looking for you, and then the yodeling starts and doesn't stop until you go and feed her. She doesn't like toys, she really only likes big dogs, we are lucky because she has never really torn anything up, and she most definatly acts like a cat living in a dogs body. But with all her little quirks...she is our dog, she is the best dog we have each ever had, and she is such an important member of our family.

Winter Wonderland!!

It may be referral day for everyone else, but it is a SNOW DAY for us in Texas! It doesn't happen very often, but a winter blast just arrived late last night, and even though it was 80' yesterday, it is now 28' as we speak. Now while I know you northerners are looking at this picture and laughing, I would like to remind you that we don't spend our tax dollars(thankfully) on being prepared for this kind of weather. Everything just shuts down, and everyone acts as though a blizzard just blew in. I will say our biggest problem when weather like this hits our area, it's not that little bit of snow, it is the ice that seems to come with it.
So we are shut in, and getting stuff done around the house. All will be well in our world tomorrow morning after the rush hour.
Happy Referral day to what seems a very small number of families. I suspect our referral will arrive sometime in 2014 with the current pace. grrrrrrhhhhhhhhh

2 months....Now that wasn't so bad, was it?

2 months down today!!! I hope the following months go by as quickly as these two went. It feels like a lifetime since I sent our paperwork off(in Aug) but these first 2 months of actual waiting went really quickly. So Happy Anniversary to us.

The strangest coincidence happened...I signed up for our DTC group cyber shower, no big deal. I send our gift, and I receive our gift. I then email the girl who sent ours to ask her for her live address so I can send a proper thank you note, and mention that I see that they live in Missouri, and that I am from Columbia, Missouri....Where are you from? yada, yada, yada. So she kindly responds and says that they live in Columbia!! Okay, how random is that? There are a lot of people on that board, I think they matched us up based on our LID's, but what a coincidence to be matched up with a family from my hometown. Anyway, I was amazed. Anyway, it was really fun, and I got 2 really cute books for Avery. Thanks Parnell's.

Well we are off to Houston for Turkey day. Should be fun to eat and be with family and friends. I still have a few things that have to be done before we leave, but D is out of town so I will be able to get those done, and be ready to depart on Wed.
I hope everyone has a very good turkey day, and lets hope that we see referrals in the next few days!!!

Happy Thanksgiving.

baby laughing

If this video doesn't make you belly laugh, than nothing will.

You talking to me???

1) What side of the heart do you draw first?The right
2) Can you dive without plugging your nose?Yessirree, it is hard to dive one handed.
3) What color is your razor?Silver/lime green
I don't use disposable, they rip the crap out of my legs.
4) What is your blood-type? A+
5) Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours? My husband :)
6) What is a rumor someone has spread about you? I have no idea, I am sure there are many, and they haven't made it to me. When I first met D his officemates were always telling him that I was a "party girl" SO NOT TRUE....UNFORTUNATELY
7) How do you feel about carrots? I love me some carrots, I love them roasted with dill. But I don't love them as much as our dog. That is her treat of choice, and we go through a lot of carrots per week!!!
8) How many chairs at the dining room table? 8...I think, not at home so I will have to look.
9) Which is the best spice girl? Posh I think. I never really liked any of them.
10) Do you know what time it is? Yes, both here PST, and at home CST
11) Do you know all the words to the Fresh Prince song? Probably most of them, I did when that show was popular.
12) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator? If I was alone? I think I would freak for a minute worrying that it was going to fall, then I would probably pick up "that phone" that I have always wondered who it calls, and see if they could help! If I were with D, I can guarantee what he would want to do......
13) What's your favorite kind of gum? I really don't chew gum(it's really unattractive if you watch ANYONE chew gum, so not ladylike) But like Heather, I only chew gum to get the flavor(Juicy fruit) until the flavor is gone, and then repeat. But that is about once a year!!
14)T or F: All's fair in love and war. False
15) Do you have a crush on anyone? Yes, my husband :) and maybe a little one on Vince Vaungh.
16) Do you know how to use some words correctly, but not know the meaning? Absolutely!
17) Do you like to sleep? I love to sleep, when it is good sleep, but hate when I dream too much, or it feels like you are not really asleep, but you really are asleep. I often worry that the sleep part of a baby is going to be my downfall in mothering. I am not nice, or capable of thinking when I haven't had about 9 good hours!! I know, I know, no comments here!! This is from the 16 years of flying and being sleep deprived all that time.
18) Do you know which US states don't use Daylight Savings? Arizona, Indiana-but I think only part of the state for some reason.
19) Do you know the song Total Eclipse of the Heart? Doesn't everyone? I thought everyone had called the radio station at least once in their life to dedicate this song to the jerk who broke their heart!! Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I'm only falling apart... Nothing I can do - a total eclipse of the heart.
20) Do you want a bright yellow '06 mustang? Gawd NO, I wouldn't want a bright yellow anything, or any mustang. I would like a butter yellow convertible VW bug though.
21) What's something you've always wanted? A flat stomach (doesn't matter how much I weigh, even at my thinnest point I didn't have a flat stomach) to go to Bora Bora, and Postinano, Italy...I will go to both, it just hasn't happened yet!!! Maybe while we are waiting.
22) Do you have hairy legs?No, I can't stand to have hairy anything. I am not a fan of facial hair on men either!! Hair is gross...Well except on your head.
24) Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake? Neither. I for sure would never swim in a lake. I try to make it my policy to not swim in anything that I can't see the bottom. But D and I both always tell people we are kind of beach people, as long as there is a POOL! I will swim in the Caribbean(again, sticking to my policy that I can see the bottom)
25) Do you wear a lot of black? Yes, it just goes with everything, and it doesn't matter if you spill!!
26) Describe your hair.Right now? Getting longer everyday. I am growing it out, hoping to grow it long enough to donate to locks of love. I have really thick hair that is past my shoulders at this point. It is sort of auburn with some light highlights(that I just started doing this year) I wear it in a ponytail almost everyday. Love the ponytail!!
27) Do you have Entomophobia? Yes, I have every phobia that relates to bugs, spiders, snakes, rodents!!
28) Are you an adult? Technically, based on my age. But sometimes don't feel like an adult. Hopefully the CCAA isn't reading.
29) Where is/are your best friends? Kansas, NJ, and Dallas(not in any particular order) I wish the two that are out of state lived close. I wish I could see them everyday. I talk to the one in KS everyday, even though I really hate to talk on the phone. Sometimes we talk 10 times a day, but maybe for only 20 sec at a time. Weird I know.
30) Do you have a tan? No!! I do get mystic tan in the summer...b/c tan fat is better than pastey white fat. But I am obsessed with sunscreen(Blue lizard)and I get my skin checked once a year at the derm. I have had enough moles removed, that I am not interested in getting a real tan!!
31) Are you a television addict? OMG, it would scare you how addicted to the TV I am. I would like to have Tivo on every TV in the house. I am making an effort to figure out how to kick this addiction. I am not a believer in kids watching TV(well at least very, very little) So this is where the Tivo thing is going to be the greatest invention evaaaaar!!!
32) Do you enjoy spending time with your mother? NO, nuff said!!
33) Are you a sugar freak? No, but my husband has a terrible problem with sweets. I love SALT!!!
34) Do you like orange juice? Yes, but only the pulp kind, the more pulp the better!!
35) What sign are you? Cancer
36) What color is your Cell Phone? Silver/Blue
37) Where do you wish you were right now?China, or see #21

Wow, that was long. Leave me a comment if you decide to offer up the info on yourself so I can come take a look!!

where have you been??? right here, just not blogging

Well sorry for the delay in updating. There has been a lot going on around our house that hasn't given me a moment to think of something creative, interesting, or whitty to write about(like that is something new) So I have given up, and will just give you a quick update so that you are not left in the lurch of clicking on my blog to only be irritated that I still have not posted anything.

Well so much has gone on on the world of IA in the last week or so. We were left with the impression that we had finally seen an increase in referrals(first in 9 months) but as luck would have it, it seems the increase is not exactly what we had once thought. It also seems that we have a new issue to worry about(oh goody, something else to worry myself sick about) It seems that if you are questioned at all about your dossier, you are pulled from your group and not put back once things are resolved. So when your turn finally comes, there is no guarantee that your referral in that batch. Just know you will have to restrain me if this were to happen to us.
And we picked China because it was so predictable.

I went to this big holiday bazaar. Found this great t-shirt(would show you a picture, but it keeps putting it at the top of the post, and I don't want it there. So if you can tell me how to get it in the middle of the page, I will post a picture) But it has chinese charactors on the front, and the translation on the back. I found one that says Mothers Love.
My friends were so cute when I showed them, it brought happy tears to their eyes.

Wow, I went to vote, went to bed, and woke up and everything was BLUE. Lets see what the dems have for us. I hope change is good in this case. We can really only go up from here. I do have a little song for Rummy.....hey, hey, hey GOODBYE!!! nanananana hey, hey, hey GOODBYE. I think this is a really good change.
Please lets reevaluate our position in Iraq.

Well, as I said things are little crazy around here right now. So I won't be posting often, but wanted to make sure you were aware and abreast of the situation. It is very frustrating to keep clicking on a blog only to see they are not keeping up with their obilgations. So I will update you next week when we return from Sin City(because what happens in Vegas, doesn't stay in Vegas) We live on the edge, and lead very exciting lives, so I leave you with D sentiments about our trip......baby needs a new pair of shoes. LOL

Well it's about time

Congratulations to all the families receiving their referrals today. It sounds like we should be impressed with the date, there were some big days, and it looks like they got through them. So maybe we are finally seeing a stablization of this wait. I think we will have to see a few more rounds of big numbers before that is confirmed. But that would be some good news for all of us.
So can't wait to see some pictures of the babes.
I want to send a shout out to the CCAA.......way to kick some referral butt!!

No news is good news???

Well I am back from NJ, and what fun I had. Was a little sick while I was there, so that was a drag, but overall had a great trip. Wish I could say that I had missed the computer, referrals, RQ etc... but actually really didn't think once about what was going on-MENTAL BLISS ahhhhh

I am totally amazed to come back and find that referrals are still unknown, a good reason to stay away from the daily grind of this adoption stuff. So lets hope that no news means good news. Sounds like the stork alert has been posted, so for all of the Aug 05' people I am sending you good wishes, and thoughts, and hope it is good news for all of us coming around the bend, and hope you see your babies soon.

Not much going on here, weather is fall like, we have a trip to Las Vegas coming up, Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and have a really terrible cold going on. Now if that is not news, I just don't know any then.

So Happy November 1st, and will see everyone on the other side of referrals!!

Off to the Garden State

Okay kids, I am off tomorrow to the Garden State(NJ) for some fun with an old friend. Will look forward to coming back and seeing where the dust settled around referrals. 23rd, 24th? 28th? Pick a number any number, big bucks no whammies.
All I have to say if it's the 23rd........
NO DEAL!!!

Okay, now let's just see the babies!

2000 visitors!

Just in case you were wondering, I just looked to see who was the lucky 2000th visitor to our site. Drum roll please......Someone from Burneby, British Columbia, they visited on 10-20-06 our month LID anniversary, and they visited for a mere 12 seconds. Must have gone to the speed reading class. Anyway, thank you to all that have visited, and to those who have left such nice comments. You don't know how much it means to have you just drop me a couple of words of encouragement. Those comments always come on the right day, when I need it the most.
Thanks again, and here's to the next 2000.
Sorry C1 that it wasn't you, but we can pretend if you like.

May I have cheese with my WHINE please??

Each month when referrals come I get a little excited with wonderment of how far they might get? Maybe this will be the month where all of sudden things turn around, and we actually see some progress, and we can visually see that someone is actually working in China. Obviously, if they only made it to the 23rd, then we know that no one is working, they all just keep freaking going on VACATION-Dude I would like a vacation, a vacation from WAITING!!! So this month I am not excited, not anticipating, not even hopeful, not going to keep refreshing the CCAA website on Sunday night. So for those getting your referrals please know that I am sorry, but the reality for the rest of us is, that we are not one month closer, and they are *officially* 15 months behind; it is just a little too much right now. On a side note to those who happen to be reading and have been waiting far longer than we have, and want to tell me to suck it up we have a long way to go...I just have this to say. We have been LID for a month, but you know that second you start your paperwork is when your really start waiting...remember? Plus most everyone started this process thinking they were going to be waiting 8-10 months tops, that was not so terrible to get a grasp of in your mind. You started this wait, and had part of your wait to be hopeful. We have started our LID waiting with 2-3 years ahead of us-so we feel like we are climbing Everest from the bottom. So please don't be so quick to snap at me so early in this game of chess.
Hope is not really in the cards right now.

Here's to our 1 month anniversary of being LID, if that actually means anything at this point. And here is to my 2000 hit coming up in I would guess the next 12 hours. I know what it says on that little ticker on the side, but that was just done in the last month or so. My sitemeter show 1994 hits. Not sure how, not sure why, and really not sure how you could have that many hits, and have so few comments....must be very boring, and not very amusing, and a lot of accidental hits looking for chinese sailing stories or something.

Well, well there little missy aren't you in just a pisspot mood?? Yes, thank you I will have some cheese with my WHINE!!!! I need me some good referral news, even a good referral story. I like thinking one referral round at a time, then it doesn't seem so far away. if you were number 24 or 25 in line you would not feel as cruddy as I do, but when you say 25 months that just seems like I need my own sherpa to start carrying the burdan of this wait.

Some issues that are bothering me right now.....

1. Can TIVO not figure out how to allow football to run long(every freaking Sun) and understand despite the change in time, if I have selected The Amazing Race to be tivoed (is that even a word?) then that means regardless of what time the show comes on, I want it to tape the whole blessed show. Yes, that is right just after Peter/Sara & the Barbies finished their alligator wrestling it STOPPED, and asked me if I wanted to delete or keep. We had to wait until this morning to find out the results. We had the TV on while we were working on building shelves for all of my shoes, but didn't think a thing about it....as we were tivoing it (right? no worries) It really was irritating, and more so when we then tivoed The Morning Show so we could wake up and see who was booted off, and for whatever reason they don't have them on like they do Big Brother and Survivor. Very disappointing. They finally gave the rundown on the website, and now so frustrated that we didn't get to see them explain the whole new twist to non elimination rounds. On a final Amazing Race note, how irritating is that Peter? If I were Sara, I would take off my leg, and whack him over the head. You notice he has her do all the hard stuff, and he stands on the sidelines offering patronizing cheers.

2. This is really bugging me, and am quite frankly surprised that this subject isn't burning up the Yahoo message boards. What the hell?? Do we actually think that Madonna waited the 49 days that we waited for our I171, or my friend that waited 12 weeks for hers? There is no International Adoption in Malawi(sp?) but they commented that you would have to be in the country for 18 months before being allowed to pursue an adoption from there. Extra (the end all, be all in the world of celebrity) interviewed the dad, and it sounded like she paid him like $10,000 and she donated $3 mil to an orphanage, stayed 8 days and WHAMO her adoption was complete. Celebrities seem to have so much clout in getting stuff done when it affects them, so if any of them actually had to go through what the rest of us go through to realize this dream then maybe we would make some headway. Like getting the I171 extension, or making that process easier and more efficient. I think this just sends out a negative message that if you have enough money, and know the right people you to can go shopping for a child of your choice. I am sure if the $10,000 is true; that it is probably a lifetime of working salary for that man. A mere fortune.

3. Why are people so quick to judge?? Especially women?? We should be more supportive of each other.

4. I just received an email from Compass bank citing changes in charges for acct holders.
Not that this affects me personally, but noticed that they now charge a $72 fee for overdrafts. Yes, you heard me right $72. Are you kidding me?? I realize that they have to try to provide consequences for those who make this a habit, but lets be realistic here. $72 is virtually pure profit for the bank, and this could literally ruin someone if they had a little mess up in their accounting(come on, we have all done it) This is highway robbery.

5. How can medication for pets cost so much?? I took our 12 year old cocker spaniel to the vet last week. She is having some additional back problems(back surgery last Nov) so for the vet to look at her, clean her ears($36 just for that 5 min of their time) and 3 presciptions, I walked out of there 30 min later with a $196 bill, and that was after using a $15 off coupon. What do people do that can't even buy their own presciptions?? It was worth it, she is back to her old self, and feeling great, and very sassy.

6. What is the deal with High School, and College kids driving cars nicer than most of the adults I know? What is that teaching our kids?

7. We saw a birthday party over the weekend for a 2 year old, and yes there was a full size carousel set up in the front yard of this mini mansion. Who is that party actually for? What happened to cupcakes and pin the tail on the donkey??

8. What has changed that has brought gas down to what seems to an affordable price? Doesn't the fact that I think $1.99 is reasonable bug you enough?? But really, what has changed??

9. If North Korea slows up our adoption(anymore than it has already been slowed up) Nicole and I are going over there to kick some khaki wearing, Hollywood movie watching arse. Kim Jung are you listening? And why is it that North Koreans have no cell phones or internet access, but North Korea as a country has a website??

10. Why does the Bachelor always keep women on that show that are not worth keeping, nor cute, nor sane?? Erica the princess, and Desiree the stripper?? what is the deal? Yes, I admit that I watch the Bachelor, no I don't need any comments on this.

Okay, it feels better to just vent these frustrations, but this is just the tip of the iceberg on the issues bugging me. These are just what have been bugging me the last 48 hours or so. I really need to start doing yoga, or going to a good therapist, maybe getting a life....

LID POLL

Something very exciting has happened....I finally got to vote in a Rumor Queen poll. It just warms my heart that Sept 06' was included in the poll. I know, ridiculous as it may seem, it just feels like progress, since there really isn't any progress going on in the adoption world, it helped my spirit a bit. So if you haven't done so already, and you were logged in before Oct 06' then jump on over and VOTE, it will be good practice for the upcoming elections that I know all of you will be participating in!! pls note Nicole is wrong, there was a poll that included Sept 06' dates...nanananananah sticking tongue out!!

On a final note, today is our 10 year anniversary, and it has already been such a great day. I have gotten some really cute, and thoughtful gifts.
Thanks honey, and Happy Anniversary.

Only 78 shopping days left!

Gosh, I can't believe another week has blown by. It literally feels like time is flying by. It is really hard to imagine that we started this process 7 months ago. Although there have been days that seem to creep by(especially while waiting for that I171) it has actually gone by very quickly. Oh the things I have learned and the friends that I have made in the last 7 months.
I just got an email from a group of girls that I went to college with, and we try to meet up at least once a month for lunch or dinner for some good quality girl talk. The proposed date was November 11th.....what November??? Where did Aug, Sept and Oct go?? That was the immediate thought that raced through my mind. Had I missed the end of summer, back to school, Labor day? No, but I seem to have little recollection of any of it. It is all a blurrrrr
November means that I need to start thinking about Thanksgiving, the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade(I love parades), warmer clothes, leaves in the pool, leaves to rake, kids coming home, buying Christmas presents, buying Christmas presents, getting Christmas decorations out and up, Christmas cards, and oh I know...buying Christmas presents. That is right kids, Christmas is only 11 weeks away, which means only 78 shopping days left on the calendar. 66 for those of you celebrating Hanukkah, and 79 if Kwanzaa is more your thing.
Regardless of the holiday you chose this year, it is freaking around the corner!!
Holy Crapoli, that means 07' is just 85 days away, and I am actually looking forward to the new year. I have told myself that if we get really lucky we will be getting our referral at the beginning of 08' so that would mean that when we celebrate New Years this year, that we could possibly be just a year away from seeing that much anticipated picture of our daughter(this is a really sad confession on my part that I think a year away sounds GREAT, even though when we started this process we would have told you that we would have been home for months, and up to our necks in snuggles, smiles, poop, sleep deprevation, dresses, and pigtails) This would mean referral times hold steady at 15-16 months. Never hurts to hope. I will have a post to reevaluate this time frame after the first of the year. But for the next 70-80 days I am going to keep my eye on that prize. At least it will get me down the road, and through the holidays without a straight jacket*okay, maybe that is a slight exaggeration, as I feel like scrooge by about Dec 15th. Because like so many other women when it comes to vacations, and holidays, we are the crank that makes the wheel turn. If it were not for us, we would never travel on vacation, vacation would be an afternoon filled with a slip in slide, and a slurpee from 7-11, and holidays would come and go as though it were just another Tuesday.
So think back, feel good about how far you have come, and let's hope that the next 7 months blow by so quickly.
TIME FLIES WHEN YOU ARE HAVING FUN....grrrrrrrrr

bloggity room with a view

Per Walternatives thought I would share where I spend entirely too much time. This is my office, I am very fortunate to have my very own space(D is a little messy to share an office with) On my computer you will see a picture of my godmother with my godson Jack-I love that picture. The pot holding my pens/scissors was made by Taylor or Connor?? Not sure which one this one is,I have both, but one is at the kitchen desk. Then you will see a shoe sitting on the TV, here's the deal with that one when I was still flying, me and one of my BFF's would find the weirdest crap left on the plane, and drop it in each other's mailbox at work for a good laugh. That is one of her not so rare finds, and I just can't seem to part with it.(no worries folks, no one would risk missing their flight to go back to look for the princess shoe, we always turned in important stuff like wallets, IPOD's, drugs, flasks etc.. ) After looking at the pictures, it looks like I need to do a little organizing. The picture of the chair is my favorite place to sit, watch TV, read, or just chill. It was given to me after my godmother passed away, so it means a lot to me too. It doesn't really match, but I don't care about that, and I love for D to come and sit in there while I am on the computer. The other corner is my *craft* area. I am a really big scrapbooker (no comments peeps, it's a cool, and worthwhile craft) So this is where it all happens. I love having an area to keep all of my stuff out, and accessible. It is a joke that if I had a bathroom, and a refrigerator I would never really need to come out of there. It is one of my favorite places in our house.
So let us know where you blog or just do your stuff. Leave a comment and let me know where to come check it out.

I am so LUCKY!

D and I will celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary in just a couple of weeks. As of late I have spent a lot of time thinking about our relationship, where we have been, and where we will go from here, and everything in between. I admit that there are times that you just get caught up in the day to day of living, and take what you cherish for granted. But with this impending date just around the corner it has made me take a step back to do the opposite. I have gone back and looked through pages upon pages of pictures, stacks of cards, and cute notes that have been written in the past 14 years that we have been together. It has reminded me of how incredibly lucky I am to be married to such a wonderful human being. I know, I know, it sounds corney, or cliche, but I really feel as though I am one of the luckiest girls in town. I think I know plenty of people that are happily married, and going through married life just fine. I don't think I know that many people that are completely overwhelmed by their feelings for their spouse that they can't begin to tell someone how it feels. That is me in a nutshell. It would take a dissertation, and a boring(yawn) one at that to tell you all the things D has done for me, said to me, taught me, showed me, and how much he has loved me.

If you go back in the archives you can read how we met, and what a fateful meeting it was. I have never doubted for a second that it was really meant for us to meet, but I have had moments of sheer panic thinking how easy it could have been for us to have just passed one another like two ships passing in the night. The stars were definitely aligned that day. I was only 25 when we met, and this relationship has shaped me into the person that I am proud to be. I feel fortunate to have had those very important maturing years with someone who is so focused on good self esteem, self confidence, and diamond hard morals and values.

We have a 9 year age difference, D was previously married, and has 2 children from that marriage. I have often been asked if I ever wished that I had met someone without such a past(excuse me, do I know you? Is what I want to ask when asked this particular question) There obviously have been moments when life would have been easier to deal with if we didn't have some of those issues, but not for more than just a moment. D is the man he is based on the experiences he has had, and people that have been in his life. If he didn't have that past to draw from, maybe he wouldn't be the man, husband, or father that he is today.
Something was said the other night while we were at a party that has been said to us before, but for some reason it really just seemed so poignant to me that night. They asked if I had children of my own; funny question since I feel like Taylor and Connor are my own. None of us remember our life before each other. Anyway, back to the point I answered that I did not, and David said we are in the middle of adopting a baby from China. Now a lot of times we get pure excitement, smiles, and confessions of wishing or wanting to do the same. But other times as in this case it is pure shock and awe;that is difficult for the person to hide. Right on the verge of horrified that D would be willing to start all over with child rearing. I guess since I feel like D and I have been hand in hand in the raising of T & C that I feel like we are both choosing to start all over in rearing a child. But when I think more carefully about it, I realize once again how generous D is. He is completely starting over, and he is doing so with excitement, anticipation, and complete desire. That is just so typical of D.

So now for the things that make me feel so lucky, and confirm that I am married to one of the greatest guys ever. Mind you this is a condensed version. I have stories of things this man has done for me that would bring tears to your eyes, but I will spare you a longer post, and just get to what I love so much about my husband. D is so smart,funny, generous, honest, amazing values, ambitious, loving, a smart ass, quirky, great father, hard working, good dresser, beautiful eyes, willing to offer compliments when due, thoughtful, great taste, not a lingerer, great husband, great son, animal loving, smirky, patient, open minded, empathetic, very comfortable in his own skin, no pretense about him, well educated, well traveled, kind, even tempered, doesn't raise his voice, willing to offer his help, not a know it all, great friend, has pure love of his family, willing to show emotion, a bit of a workalholic, appreciative, drives too fast, loves acronyms,loves trees, is a risk taker, and he never ceases to amaze me with his love for me. 14 years after meeting, he makes me feel like the most important person in the world. He surprises me, he remembers all the important stuff, he always knows how to cheer me up, he knows how to make me laugh, and usually knows just what to say to me and the kids. Most importantly he knows when to just let me be, and offer a hug. I am so lucky, T & C know how lucky they are, and this new baby will realize so quickly how lucky she is to have this amazing daddy. If D were to tell you, he would just say "I am the one that is so lucky" Here's to 30 more honey.

The babies are here!

Just want to send a big congratulations out to the families receiving their referrals today. I know that everyone was hoping that they would get through Aug. this time, but I think 18 days is pretty good considering the last few batches. Maybe we will get through Aug in the next batch, that would be awesome.
What I love about this process is anticipating everyones referral's as though it were our own, seeing the pictures, and then seeing the *real* pictures when they travel, (and it's not a snowsuit oompah loompah baby in the picture) It is total bliss for me to see the excitment, and to think about how this must feel. I will be a complete mess when the time comes around to us. *Just want to remind everyone that they will be paperchasing for #2 or 3 by the time our referral is announced, so don't be worrying that you will miss it, because you will be back in the loop of wonder and awe.
So big hugs, big hoots and hollars, and hip hip hurray, the babies are here!!

Why didn't someone tell me??

We interrupt current programming for this very important massage from your local sponsor.

WE FINALLY HAVE OUR EVER SO LONG AWAITED LID!!!

9-20-06

HIPHIPHURRAYHIPHIPHURRAYHIPHIPHURRAYHIPHIPHURRAY!

It feels like the world has been lifted, and the world can resume to its normal state of affairs. Why didn't someone tell me it was going to feel so good? I have such a busy day ahead that I don't have time to spend celebrating, however I think I will have a new spring in my step as I go about my very busy day.

So the official wait has begun.

Never thought that waiting would be this anticipated.

Edited #1 Sorry for the LID error, I guess I was so excited(and in a BIG hurry) I hit the wrong number. 9-20-06 will be a date that will forever be blazed into my mind. It took about 5 minutes of looking at the email, and then looking back at the calendar to figure that we got our LID on our LID. Gotta love that international date line. Excuse my typos as well. Boy, can you imagine what the post will be like when we get our referral? Unintelligible.

We are off to Austin

On the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again. Well not really, I feel like all we have done in the last 8 weeks is travel, so I am really not that excited about this trip. At least we are going somewhere reallllllllly good. We are off to a conference in Austin until Sat, and then we will stop and check on the state of affairs in San Marcos. This will be our first visit to see Connor since we took him to school in Aug. We are a teensy tiny bit concerned about the lack of fun he might be having at school *wink, wink* He has since pledged a fraternity since I last mentioned him *smirky, smirky* So our itinerary inlcudes an invitation to the weekly Saturday night Phi Psi party, where Connor is bartending...none the less. I can barely contain my enthusiasm about this impending social event, but you know the old saying...when in Rome do as the Romans do, so when at college, do as the college students do (ROTFLMAO) I must tell you I am a bit intrigued that he even wants us to come to this party, so by all means we will be there with bells on our toes*which is what I think he is scared of* I am sure this trip will also include a trip to Target, and the grocery store. I have my list in hand of what I have been instructed to bring, and we have been told that his days are pretty open to spend time with us *evil roll of the eyes* So a very interesting update will follow *no pictures to follow from the party, unless they still have party pics*
Behave yourselves while I am gone, and I will look forward to checking in to see if referrals come out.

On a final note you will notice that my blog has an AMAZING new look,and loveliness about it. She will be open for business very soon, and you too can have someone swoop in, and bring the loveliness to your life too. Didn't she do a great job?? Let her know by posting some comments on how you think it looks. I am just in love with it. I think it is pure delish, and can't stop looking at it.

Oh yeah, anyone out there from Austin, we are needing a neat,yummy place to take some of our clients on Friday. So any suggestions would be appreciated.

#2 leaded pencil needed, Eyes on your own paper, Time begins now!

Okay, just wanting to know some personal information about some of my blogger friends out there. Come on it's not like you have anything else to do right now, or you wouldn't be reading this. It's Saturday night, and you are home on the computer, do I need to offer you more?
So lets see what you have to say. Thanks Pomegranate for the nosy neighbor list.
Love J, a.k.a Mrs Kravitz (Bewitched)

*Your child's Chinese name (assuming s/he has or will have one)...are you a) using it as a middle name, b) using it as a first name or c) not using it at all? Why?
No, for lots of reasons.(please no judgemental remarks about this one)

*Red threads - yes or no? Discuss.
No, but I am okay for those that do.

*What are you most looking forward to experiencing with your child/ what do you most enjoy doing with your child?
Spending quality time playing, reading, seeing friends & family, and finally traveling when she is a older. Taylor & Connor have been all over the world-they were and are great travelers.

*Have you been reading a lot of adoption books? Any recommendations?
I have been reading about bonding and attachment(scaring the schiznick out of me)

*What will/do you miss most about your life pre-parenthood?
Probably getting plenty of sleep/not being able to even potty by myself.

*Have you started your nursery, or are you waiting until the time gets closer?
Haven't started yet, but have bought some things, and picked out the fabric.

*Lifebook - excited to start or terrified of screwing it up? Top tip?
Yes, lifebook, yes BIG scrapbook. Looking forward to it!! Save everything, and always take pictures.

*What hobby do you secretly hope your child will take up and love?
Hope she is crafty, I do hope she has a great appreciation of Art like I do, but want her to enjoy playing golf or tennis, or be a big runner, really anything that she feels passionate about.

*Co-sleeping - "well of course" or "maybe but I just don't see any of us would sleep"?
NO! We are going to sleep in her room until she is use to her new surroundings, and new parents. As long as that takes, but she will have to sleep in her crib.(no nasty comments on this one either:)

*If you'd had sole choice of your child's name (assuming you didn't), would it have been different? Wanna tell us what?
I really picked out the name, but we both agreed.

*Is your family and friends really supportive of your decision to adopt?
Our friends & family are over the top excited. Taylor and MIL are the most excited.

*What is your biggest fear while in China?
Sick baby, or getting sick while we are there, but will be armed with an arsenol of remedies, and will hope for the best. Not really scared though.

*In the movie of your life, who plays you?
Sandra Bullock

*Sleeping. Light on, light off?
Lights off, must be pitch black.

*China - experiment with food or not?
Some experimenting, but pls refer to #11 that will curtail the over the top food adventure, if we were just vacationing we would be more willing to to live on the edge.

*Are you planning on learning some Chinese?
Yes, we are both taking a class, but it will be D doing most of the learning. He already knows another language-so his brain will be more effective in that department, but I will go for support, and hold the flash cards. I will however make sure I know some very important phrases

*Will this be your only adoption?
Yes, this will be our only adoption(we just wrote tuition checks for both kids) BIG SIGH!!

*To bow or not to bow? that is the question.
Of course to BOW, a girl can never have too many accessories. I wore a bow until I was 25! Yikes

*What about the 100 wishes quilt? Absolutely, or no way just isn't possible.
No, I don't think a quilt is going to work. I have control issues that I am dealing with, and to have so many random pieces of fabric is probably more than my brain can take. Still thinking about it, the premise is very lovely. I still send blocks to my friends.

*Favorite vacation destination?
That is a hard one. I love St. John, Paris(and most of France), Maui(married there) Maine, Rome(ALL OF ITALY).

*What TV show are you most looking forward to starting this fall?
Amazing Race, Survivor, LOST, Dancing with the Stars. I am an admitted reality TV junkie. D finds this very embarassing. I don't! I forgot about Medium, and Without a Trace. Thank God for Tivo!!

*Patient? Not Patient?
Not patient about waiting for this baby, but usually very patient.

*Favorite sport to watch?
Hockey!

*Chocolate or Vanilla?
Chocolate-if it is ice cream I would really order something coffee flavored

*What's your favorite China adoption blog?
I have so many, but I love Naked ovary, Salsa, Pomegranate, Elsie Everywhere, Walternatives, Moon is always female, Digging a hole to just name a few. These girls are funny, and very talented. My ALT list I check almost everyday, so I enjoy those too.

*Finally what is your guess for how far they will get with referrals this month?
I am guessing Aug 8th. That would be 16 days. I would like to guess Aug 31, but I would be just hoping then, not really guessing.

Okay, so now you know everything, and more about me. You know you want to answer, so lets hear it. I am not feeling overly patient this evening, so lets get moving kids we don't have all night.okay, just leave me a comment so I can come over at look at your answers on your site.

A New Day is coming!!

I can only tell you to hold on to your horses. I have a new blog coming, and I can't wait, I am soooo excited. I have someone who knows what they are doing, and they are willing to help my poor cyber(stupid) soul(two things that make it all good) I promise the boring content will not change, but at least it will be pretty.
I just want to tell you that I am so inspired by all the women (and some men) and their writing abilities. I really look forward everyday to reading these little peeks into their lives. I know more about some of you then I know about some of my closest friends. It is a strange phenomenon, 6 months ago I would have never believed in such interest, or talent coming from reading someone's daily thoughts(blog?? What's a blog?? cause 6 months ago, I didn't really know what a blog was) So many of you are like reading my favorite book, I can't wait for more, or I think do they know how funny they are?? Or what a great writer they are? I really appreciate the honesty in which you share yourself, and the connection you are making, even if you don't know you are making it.
Let's see which one comes first new blog? LID?? If I were a betting women I would bet on the blog- Clearly my agency has no guanxi, since it appears that our dossiers were put at the bottom of the LID pile. We have people stating their DTC that were after some of ours(my agency) and they already have a LID. Guess I can do nothing but wait. But back to the betting thing, go for the blog, the odds are in your favor.

A day we will never forget.

As a former flight attendant(I just left in Dec 05) I see September 11th from a different perspective. Obviously I see the whole traumatic picture, but at the moment it happened I was thinking from a flight crew perspective. As this is the moment in our generation that we will never forget what we were doing at that moment, I too will never forget the immediate sense of loss I felt when I watched the second plane hit the second tower live.
I was not flying that week, I was in KC taking care of my godson Jack. He was two weeks old, my dearest friend Karen (Jack's mom) was with her mother in ICU as her mother recovered from having surgery to remove her cancer that had returned. I had been up a lot that night with Jack, and had just gotten him as well as myself back to sleep when the phone rang. When I answered all I could hear was...Turn on the TV, we just heard that a plane hit the towers in NY. Well being very tired, but being based in NYC for half of my career, I knew that could not be possible. Manhattan in general is not in the flight path of any of the NY airports. I had been based in NY when the bombings took place back in the 90's, I really assumed that was what had happened. Karen had no access to a TV in the ICU, she just begged me to turn the TV on to see what had happened. When I got to the TODAY Show, and saw what I saw, I just could not believe my eyes. But I still thought it had to have been a small plane. Again, the tip of Manhattan is not in the flight path. It was only a few minutes later as I was assuring her that it was an accident, and that it had to be a small plane, that I watched what I will never be able to erase. That dark flying shadow headed straight for the second tower. It was at that moment I knew it was a commercial airliner, and I knew this was not an accident. Being in a state of extreme fatigue, and pure shock at what I was watching, I just had a complete and total meltdown. I hung up on Karen, and just started dialing numbers of some of my closest friends that I knew where flying that day, and were NYC based. I truly felt like I had just witnessed my friends being killed on live television. You could not see the tail on that airplane, and all they could tell you was that the flight had departed Boston in route to LA. I knew that we (DAL) had an 8:00 departure to LA from Boston-I knew this, because I had flown that trip just a few months prior. Later we would find out that it was said that DAL had not been the target of this wrath because that flight historically departed late each day. It may be the one time our on-time performance (or lack thereof) had actually spared us of the direct hit.
Please don't assume that I was only focused on the people who were on-board the planes. I knew that many people had just been killed, but for those hours and days that followed I just kept reliving what I knew had probably transpired on-board those planes. We have been coached, and quizzed, and taught step by step what to do in the event you are hijacked. I knew that the crew had cooperated, and had followed instructions that had been compiled over years from previous hijackings. The crew on-board those flights were not prepared for the ill that lie ahead. In the past you just did as they asked, you would land somewhere, demands would be made etc etc...My only hope is that hopefully Flight 93(Shanksville, PA) was the only one that actually were aware of what was happening. The sheer terror of knowing what was happening is almost more than I can bare. As I sat glued to the TV, and the phone(as everyone was calling me to make sure I was not flying that day) I was hearing more and more about the crews that were working those flights. Most of which were on what we call turn arounds. Which is out and back in the same day, no suitcase required, I will be home for dinner and homework. That just crushed me thinking that some probably dropped kids at school and then headed to work for their turnaround, and planned to be home before bedtime. I thought of the flight attendant that had called in sick that morning, and was replaced by a reserve. How horrified you would be by your fate that day.
I didn't have to return to work until the following week. I happened to be flying a trip that month that laid over in DC, so the rest of the month I flew a variety of trips, none of which included NYC, or DC. I surprisingly was very calm when I went to work. I remember laying over in Albuquerque, and D calling me when I got to the hotel to make sure I was fine. He asked me if I had felt nervous on the flight. Funny, I wasn't, but I also only had 7 passengers(yes, 7 you heard me right) and 3 of those were employees. The weeks that followed were just weird. People were being so nice to us (rather rare in our occupation), people really came together. For something so horrific where we saw the absolute worst in people, it really bound us together, and we saw the absolute best in people.
In the five years since this tragedy, so much has changed in the world of aviation. So many of my colleagues lost their jobs,so many left because the stress of that uncertainity of that enviroment was more than they could take, we can't fly without the stress of the airport experience, now we can't can't even take toothpaste, or shampoo. I have just learned recently that uniformed flight crew is exempt from this policy. Which is great, because I was thinking if I had not left last year, I would be leaving now if I can't bring my own toiletries (I was thinking there are some seriously smelly, non shampooed, sweaters on their teeth flight attendants working the friendly skies right now-ugh)
As we remember this day in our history, my heart goes out to all of the families that have lost a loved one. I often think of the people while they may have not lost someone, they have lost a part of their soul because they witnessed this tragedy first hand-can't even imagine living that experience over and over again in my mind.
The question arises often are we safer now, than we were then?? Yes, is the answer from my aviation perspective. Not because we can't bring shampoo or box cutters on board, but because we have been educated. We will never sit passively by and let this happen again if we can help it.

I fixed it, I fixed it, I fixed it!!

As you can see cybergirl is back. I fixed the profile, and now life can resume as normal. This was keeping me up at night. So in the future if you have any computer issues that you need resolved make sure and call me (NOT) Call the geeks. Please note I did not call the geeks-I really did fix it on my own, but I was just minutes from placing that call-it was really causing a brain freeze. Nicole showed me how to add links to my site (thanks Nic) If you want to be linked just let me know, and I will add you up.
FYI. Feeling better today. Good thing, cause it stinks at the bottom.

Jump on the ride to the bottom

I was tagged again to share what I plan to do while we wait for our daughter. Well I am not up for this challenge right now. I have been very upbeat, and positive about this wait until yesterday. Not sure what triggered the downward spiral, but once the move downward started it was a fast ride to the bottom. I am sure I have been so busy lately, that there has not been much time to think about the reality of our adoption, it may have been just reading one too many rumors or board post, or maybe it was just the obscene amount of cold medicine I had taken to try to overtake this terrible cold I have been fostering. Regardless of what triggered the meltdown, it was calm, but it was bad. To read that we could be waiting 3-4 years for our daughter was just more than my brain and my heart could take. We started this journey to a child 3 years ago, and to think that we could have another 3 years to the ultimate end of this journey just seems cruel at this point. We are a very patient family overall. We have had to wait for a lot of things, and we have made an attempt to teach Taylor and Connor about delayed gratification. We are big believers in if it is worth working and waiting for, then it is worth having. But I think this just goes well beyond what anyone should ever have to suffer through.
I spoke to our agency yesterday, and I always do feel better for at least a little bit when I speak to our director. She is a very warm, calm, genuine person who has this amazing ability to calm others. I know that she truly means it when she says that she really can't fathom that the wait will actually extend to that magnitude. But the reality of it is, it is all about the numbers. If the numbers of dossiers don't recede, and the number of paper ready babies doesn't increase, it is a matter of Econ 101-remember the first day of that class? Guns and Butter, supply and demand. Unless the new guidelines are across the board, and no one is grandfathered in, it just seems futile to be in this wait. I have asked about other countries, and about SN. I guess after to talking to "D" last night we have decided that we have to just put some of this aside, keep abreast of the big picture, and not focus so much time on the day to day stuff. Then after the holidays we will reevaluate the situation.
Right now it just feels like it was not meant for me to be a mother. I may have to become more comfortable with that idea. I know that I have so much to do, and I don't feel like doing any of it. I feel so down, so blue, and just feel generally out of control-which is way outside of my comfort zone. I know there are many of you out there feeling the same thing.
I know that people feel like it is all in "God's" time, but sorry, I am not in the mood for that right this minute. 17 year old crack heads go out and get pregnant, is that all in God's time? I am way beyond red threads, ladybugs, and bible verses.
Hopefully I will have a new lease on life tomorrow, but just needed to vent today. I am going to go clean house now, which sounds like such a glorious controlling thing to do-I need at least one thing I can control.
Here's to international adoption. Don't ever get in line behind me at the grocery, because the line I chose always gets longer!!

Tagged

7 Things I Want to do Without Dying of Embarrassment

Sing in public(I can't sing, but I would like to be a good singer)
Still wear a big hairbow in my hair(I wore a bow until I was 25)
Wear Laura Ashley dress'(as I did in college)
Go back a be a cheerleader again(I had so much fun with my girlfriends)
Get a brazilian (I am absolutly not ready for this one)
Run in a marathon
Go back to summer camp


7 Things I Cannot Do in the Summer
Go to bed early(too light outside)
Layout in the sun(it makes you look old/frecklely-sure this is not a word)
Fly stand-by on Delta
Vow to not buy birthday presents(we have too many b-day's in the summer)
Let Matty ride in the car(our 12 year old black cocker spaniel)
Go outside(We live in Hell)
Watch TV-it is all reruns-even OPRAH


7 Things I Can Do Which are Meaningless Unless You are Still in Jr. HighThis is really just stuff that is only meaningful if you are in Jr. High

I have 3 BFF
I love really neat pens
I would still love to have a locker(maybe in my closet???)
I still hide my journal
I love to mix several sodas at QuickTrip
I like to pick out what I am going to wear if there is a big event the next day
If I get something new, I like to wear it a lot!! It offically becomes my uniform.
Splits(it hurts, but I can still do them-thank you very much)
I love to listen to songs over and over again.


7 Things Which Attracted me to our House

Double cul-de-sac
Walk to all 3 schools(elementary, middle, and High School)
It has 5 bedrooms, so we liked the size
It has a pool, but wish that we did not have a pool-I don't like being the pool girl!
Close to the airport.
Huge Master bedroom/bathroom and a really big closet.
We have really mature trees
Strangly because it was close to my stepchildren's mothers house.


7 Things I Say Most When I’m Crying

I don't really cry much, but if I do I am usually alone, and I don't say much.
David will say when I am crying "Did you watch Life is beautiful again?"

7 Children’s Books I am Adding to my Own Collection

Corderoy
Goodnight Moon
I love you this much
Shooey & Dot
Where the wild things are
Green eggs and Ham
Oh the Places you will go


7 Children’s Movies I Can Watch for the Bazillionth Time Without Wanting to Rip my Eyes from Their Sockets

FYI, I don't care for cartoons either-as a kid only watched Jetson's, Richie Rich, and then Land of the Lost(that is not animated-remember the sleestacks??)

Willy Wonka (the original, Johnny Depp was too creepy in the remake)
Finding Nemo
Ice Age
All of the Herbie movies
Chitty Chitty bang bang
Mary Poppins
Charlie Brown Christmas

This was kind of hard, so I won't tag anybody, but of course would like to see if we have any of these in common. Leave your comments. I know you are reading it, so just let me know what you think.
Happy Labor Day.

I love Flower's

This was my good news, or my little pick me up. Aren't these beautiful? We took care of our friends dog for 9 days last month, and this is the Thank You we had delivered last night. I love hydrangeas-so these will dry, and last forever. So nice, so not necessary, and so APPRECIATED-Thanks Phil & Myra. Merlot is welcome at our house anytime.
I know everyone is feeling down right now with the prospect of our wait. I know this will sound crazy (what's new) but right now I have to tell myself that this is really not possible. I need to take a deep breath, and reevaluate the situation in January. I just don't feel it in my gut that we could be 3-4 years from our children (the lastest estimates based on current referral times)So lets try and at least wait until the new guidelines are announced, and see who is going to be affected-I think we will be surprised at what the CCAA will do. We are already hearing whispers of some of the guidelines being instituted across the board (regardless of LID) and some guidelines that will affect only newly received dossiers. I think they have to do something to get the wait times down. This may be the only way to do that with the overwhelming number of people deciding to adopt.
We are off again, headed to Houston this afternoon to see our family. It is Labor Day, and "D's" birthday-so we will be FAT and happy this weekend!!! More CAKE-but it is chocolate this time-I do chocolate too, just prefer white.
So I hope everyone has a great,long weekend.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!!!!

9 Days????

I am so excited to see everyone's referrals. I would have been a bit more excited had they done more than 9 days worth. Hopefully everyone read RQ today as she had the unfortunate pleasure of passing along how the CCAA sees the wait for waiting families. Since I may be mean in my paraphrasing I will share it as it was posted:


"From a European Agency
One of the European agencies has posted that the cutoff would seem to be July 22, that this is not official but that the “sources are sufficiently trustworthy”. They note that they will post when they get something official.

They then talk a little about the delay, repeating the current party line of too many applicants and less available babies and that it is not possible to give a concrete time since there are so many variable factors.

They then state that the CCAA insists that it is necessary that the families have sanity and tranquility and patience while they wait, that this is essential for future happiness, and that this will demonstrate the capacity of people to face problems and difficulties that life always creates.

And then comes the kicker. We are told that people who are not able to handle the pressure and understand these simple points are not welcome." Rumor Queen 8/25/06

I find that very hostile on their part. Tranquility????????? Are you kidding me? How can anyone feel tranquail about waiting 2 years-2 1/2 for most if you include paperwork. Has something happend to make them hostile towards us? I am really confused. I thought this adoption process was good for everyone; great for the babies, great for the families, great for China b/c of the revenue IA produces-Great all the way around as I see it.
I just know that I feel deflated, and disappointed. This all seems to be a dream, and it will never REALLY happen. I think it is time to move along with my life, and put some of this on the backburner(if possible) and someday, somehow, someone will call and say "we have your referral for you" I will be so patient, and tranquil in the asylum that I will respond with "referral? what referral?"

Well again to everyone that did receive your referral CONGRATULATIONS!! To those that just missed it, my sympathies to you- Hopefully you will be next!!
I am just going to go take a nap, and recover from the disappointing news.

Action Jackson is turning 5!!

Okay kids, I am going to be gone for the rest of the week. Off to Kansas to celebrate one of the cutest little boys alive fifth birthday. Jack is the apple of my eye, and so I will spend the week with him and my best friend, and one of the cutest little girls around; Miss Katie-who already owns several pairs of squeeky shoes/and could possibly dress so cute that you might think she has a stylist.
I am already anticipating withdrawal from bloggerland-I mean I am going to come back, and everyone will have their TA's, and I will have missed it-what's a girl to do? I am sure I will sneak a few peeks at the computer while I am there. Anyway, I will have some pictures, and some other fun stuff to share when I get back, I mean the party is at Pump it Up-and it doesn't get any more fun than that... Looking forward to the cake-white cake no less. I am a connoisseur of white cake it's the only reason I go to weddings and birthdays-so if you invite me you better order a good cake. So disappointing to wait around for the cake to be cut and then it's no good-party is a flop in that case. Well as least as far as I see it. My best friend feels the same way about cake-so no doubt this will be an incredible cake,and she will order it extra big so we have some for the whole weekend-now that is something to look forward to, and so will my thighs.
So good luck to everyone awaiting their TA's, and hoping I come back, and I have missed all the referrals-cause that would be great if they came out this week too, and we will be one week closer to getting our LID. Hip Hip Hurray!!

Empty Nesters

As promised, here are our pictures from moving Connor to college. Let me start by saying I did a really good job of not sobbing like a baby during the move or even when we did FINALLY leave. I did however have a big breakdown prior to leaving the house-Connor wrote us the nicest letter ever, and I do mean ever. He just told us what great parents we are, how much he appreciates us, how it is okay that we are a little strange...? that he didn't mind that we often nagged him to clean his room, and constantly reminded him that school is his top priority. It was really just the nicest, sweetest letter a parent could ask for from a child(well except for the reference letters he and Taylor wrote for our HomeStudy) Anyway, that letter made me boo hoo like a BIG OL' BABY, but I was able to pull it together and act like a big girl, in big girl pants once we got on the road.
Moving was HOT, crowded, HOT, fairly quick, oh did I say HOT? B/C if case you don't frequent the weather channel everyone in the state of TX except for far W. TX haven't had rain or a cool day in about 16 years-We are friggin burning up down here. I feel like I have lived a lifetime in hell this summer-it just won't end. It was 106' the day we moved him in-OZONE LAYER people!!!!Anyway, you can see a quick snapshot of his room that he overtook-his roommate didn't have a fighting chance-we moved in first(fortunatly guys are different from girls, and he didn't seem to care, and even seemed to like the set up) I know you can't tell that he picked out a superman bedspread, he has been excited about since we bought it-but then he says "you don't think people are going to think I want to be superman or think that I think I am superman do you?" gosh Connor I just don't know....you are 19!!! Anyway, you can see he and David headed up the hill from buying $600 worth of books-oh don't you remember book-buy-back days at the end of the semester?-it was your $$$$$$$, and it was crisp one dollar bills-didn't matter that you were only getting a tenth of what your parents had spent on the books. Then you see a cute pic of the three of us right before we left-see all smiles-Connor was headed to the river to float with some Fraternity guys that he had met the night before, so really he couldn't get us to leave fast enough. Then one of David and Connor in the LOUNGE area of his room.
Then finally you will see the top picture-well let me just say that is not just a landscape picture-those little black clouds in the sky are bats-millions of bats-and anyone from TX who has been to see the bats will understand when I say we are not crossing the Congress Ave. bridge. This is North Austin-and the bats were just streaming out! The bats at the Congress Ave bridge in Austin are quite a site. A must stop along with the biggest ball of twine. So we were shocked to see another bridge with the insect eating little critters. We have the largest bat colony in N. America. right there in Austin, TX.
Anyway, Connor is moved, he is settled, and he is not missing us yet. Right now I am not missing him either-he left a HUGE mess in his room that I will need to pick up in the next few days.
We are wishing Connor success, happiness, and a ton of fun in college-but not too much fun :)
I have no idea what that red headband is on his head, nor do I condone the fashionable black wife beater t-shirt he is wearing.

Waltz Across Texas with Me!

Okay boy's and girl's, just as I promised I am taking you on a tour of Texas. With my minor disaster at the consulate I toured a little more of Texas then first anticipated. With almost 850 miles on my car since Wednesday, I am well equipped to be in charge of carpool when our daughter goes off to school.
I would have labeled the pictures, but not really sure how to do that right now. Don't have a ton of time on my hands-have been gone since Wednesday, and now we are in the mad dash to get Connor ready to move to school tomorrow. This is a very emotional rollarcoaster ride for our family right now-dossier headed for China, and Connor leaving for college. Kleenex please.
If you know how to label, please offer some instruction or advice.
1.Here are all of our documents ready to be put together to form our dossier-Yeah!! 4 1/2 months later!!
2.Here is such a lovely picture after being in the car all day-but we were leaving with our dossier to take it to our SW-Stella-what a feeling, never thought this day would arrive.
3. Here is our dossier all tied up in it's lucky red ribbon.
4.Here is the Sam Houston Memorial in Huntsville-he is REALLY BIG!!!
5.This is halfway between Austin and Houston (LaGrange)They claim that they have the best kolache's, but West is still my favorite.
6.This was a rainbow I saw on my way back from Austin(2nd time)thought it was profound after the day I had had.
7.Remember I told you about Czech Stop in West,TX? well here are my 2 fav's cherry kolache, and chocolate macaroons(these are to die for)Yes, that is my really cute Cythnia Rowley purse in the background that I got for the summer-just love that purse.
8.State Capital of TX-isn't she a beauty? Right across the street from SOS
9. The road to Houston
10.The Chinese Consulate in Houston-spent way too much time here this last week.
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Well as I said we are off to San Marcos(south of Austin) to move Connor to school tomorrow. Should have some interesting stories from this adventure.
Update to follow.
Wish me luck that I don't boo hoo too much in front of the new roommate that enjoys symphonic music-
I don't think he and Connor will be a match made in heaven, I am pretty sure.

Houston we have a problem: The Sequel

Wow, here we are and it's Saturday, and I am still in Houston. Yes, that's right...Still here. I know I should have been back yesterday to drop off our documents to our SW, and she was to Fed Ex them on Mon to St. Louis. Well in my little world of adoption nothing seems to be easy, or go as planned. So kid's grab your bag of doritos, and a pint of Ben and Jerry's because it going to be a long bumpy ride. I made it to Austin and Houston on Wed, dropped our I-171-H off at the Chinese Consulate, went to my in-laws had a lovely visit with them, and planned to pick up the stack of documents from the consulate first thing Friday morning, and then head for the hills. Well, arrive at the consulate, she slides my BIG stack of docs under the window, and there is a note on top that says they could not authenticate two of the documents because of.... So I can feel my heart start to race, my palms start to get clammy as I investigate why this is happening. The first being "D's" birth certificate-I had ordered it off the internet, and then sent it to the Sec of State myself to be certified back in April, had never really looked at it since-well they were saying it was a color copy-okay-why would I make a color copy of a document I have possession of??????????????? Especially when I know that the adoption police need all original documents. The other issue was, they were saying notary was a copy not the origianl stamp on the I-171-H-it's not, but whatever-that is easily fixed. But the birth certificate is not easily fixed. After talking on the phone to a person at the consulate who could only say "photocopy" I was getting no where and time was of the essence. So jumped into the big rig (gas guzzling SUV) and headed for the Houston Dept of Health and Vital Statistics. Let me just start by saying it was lovely spending an hour and half with Houston's finest citizens. Once I got to the window presented my problem to the very nice man behind the glass window-he took what we now know is a color copy of my D's birth certificate. He talks to a supervisor, and gets everyone behind the window worked into a tizzy that someone has committed FRAUD! So in the mean time I figure out that I am going to have to drive back to Austin(yes, that's right 167 miles there and back) and I need to get there by 4:00/and to the Sec of State by 4:30 before they close for the weekend-and I spend the weekend in Austin by myself-let me just point out that it is 1:20 at this point, and haven't left the city limits of Houston. They become so focused on the fraud that may have taken place, and not the problem at hand-I need my husband's birth certificate and it certified, and I need it NOW!!! So I jump back into the gas guzzler and head for I-10 on a Friday afternoon-which is like a parking lot. I will spare you the part where I was sobbing on the phone like a little girl to "D" who is the middle of a meeting and I am driving 80 mph-saying I am never going to be able to make it-along with some other choice words that I will spare you. If anyone has questioned that there is a God, or divine intervention-never question it again. I am living proof that it exist. I must send out a BIG thank you to Steve Elkins who is the Deputy Registar of the State of Texas-because he did everything in his power to assist me with my catastrophe. I explained the whole story to him, and he said he would do what he could to help, and that he would look into why this happened. Then "D" was mapping my trip so I would know exactly where to go, and how to avoid the most traffic in Austin(as I would be arriving at prime rush hour) then he called the Sec of State's office and convinced a very nice women "Dawn" to stay until 5:00 so that I would for sure make it. Well as I said, it had to be divine intervention, b/c otherwise I would have never made it there. I arrived at the Dept of Health in Austin at 4:05, walked out with the birth certificate at 4:10-TX Dept. Of Health you Rock-I didn't even have to pay-which was good because I didn't have any way to pay them-oops. I then walked into the Sec of State at 4:25 and arrived in Dawn's office to be greeted with "you must be...." I didn't even have to have her stay late. So I have the documents ready to go first thing Mon morning-I will pay the same day fee, and pick them up Mon afternoon, and then start the 5 hour drive back to Dallas. "D' is meeting me at the SW house, and we will hopefully turn over our docs and be done with it all. We are still hopeful that we will be DTC on Friday the 18th. But I guess that remains to be seen. I will not feel relieved until I probably have picked up the docs from the consulate, or maybe after we have dropped them off with the SW, or maybe I will feel better if she will give me the tracking number so I can check to make sure it arrives, or I know, I will feel better once I know the plane carrying our docs have made it across the ocean without crashing our 5 months of work into the bottom of the sea. Shoot, I don't know when I am going to feel better. I hope it is soon. So I will update you when I get back to Dallas, and have recovered from this crazed, obsessed, mad episode.
I have to tell you when I arrived back at my in-laws, by MIL had turned my bed down, had the towels out ready for me to take a shower, and sent me to bed. I'm such a lucky girl:)
P.S. I have pictures to follow this tale-Why?? I don't know, I started to take pictures before I knew what a nightmare it was going to be:(
P.S.S. I forgot to mention that I have spent enough on gas in the last 5 days on this journey that I could have bought a plane ticket, rental car, and probably a nice hotel.
Note to self...need to trade the big rig for a Prius.

It's Here, It's Here, Finally, It's Here!!!

Okay, for anyone out there that has adopted or is ahead of me in adopting(not hard at this point) You will know the feeling I had when the mailman(not my usual mail lady) handed me the best piece of mail I have received to date as an adult. Our I-171-H arrived today!!! Applause!!Applause!! It involved shaking the hand of the very sweaty, confused mailman-as I told him he had answered my prayers-well he at least brought the answered prayers.
I have already been to the bank to notarize it-still a little confused on who is getting what-but I will get that figured out, I have the money orders ready for the consulate, I have called all the appropriate authorities(all my peeps), posted it on all the message boards, and now just getting ready to use my streets and maps software to highlight my trip to Austin, with a stop in West for Kloches(duh)(if you have not done this before-you must if you drive from Dallas to Austin stop in West-at the Czech Stop for their amazing little tasty treats) and then onto Houston to the consulate before they close. I will pay the expedited fee for one day service-but will pick up all of the documents(remember SIL/MIL dropped the others off on Mon) on Friday morning and make my way back to Dallas. My SW is expecting me at her house Friday afternoon, she will review them over the weekend, and they will be Fed Exed on Mon to St. Louis-and then drumroll please...............
We should be DTC on Aug 18th, and with any luck at all we will make our LID before the end of Aug. BREATHE, BREATHE. Okay, everyone has been so nice today-I really am over the moon. "D" is on his way back from Colorado-so can't celebrate with him until he arrives at 9:30. He will be very excited-because hopefully the crazed, obsessed woman will go away-yeah right:)
I will update you when I get back. Until Friday

Enough Already!!!

This is going to be short, I have had enough ALREADY!! No INS approval again today. I really thought for sure it would come, but nothing-absolutely nothing in the mail.
My In-Laws did make it to the consulate today-they have dropped off the majority of our documents to be authenticated, and they or me depending on what happens will pick them back up on Thur. Only one hiccup-I made an extra set of copies because the website said they had to have a Xerox of each document submitted, and they apparently don't need the Xerox, and it only confused the situation. I had also forgotten that we have an extra medical letter for "D" that I had not accounted for-SIL says that they said there were 12 documents-but for the life of me I can only account for 11?????????? Who am I to argue.
So we will sit and stalk the mail-lady again tomorrow. We really need it to come, because "I" have had enough already!! Plus, "D" is ready to have his wife back, and not the crazed and obsessed lady he is living with right now.
I will work on this while he is out of town.

Houston, we have a problem

As we all know, we are just waiting on that little piece of paper from the INS. I had made the executive decision that we would wait on our I171 to come-I would drive it to Austin to be certified(everything else has been certified) and then drive on to Houston to stay with my awesome In-laws while getting everything authenticated. I knew I could pay a fee for expedited service at the consulate-so figured we would pay the fee, and have them do it in 2-3 days instead of the general 4-5 day turn around time. Well in my state of anxiety for this approval to come I have gone over the dossier check list about 10 times this week, have made all my copies, gathered all the pictures needed, and reprinted the directions for getting the authentications done-WELL, in participating in that little exercise I realize that the expedited fee is per document, not per package. So $30 per the 11 docs(we had to have some other docs done at other consulates) I have to authenticate on top of the $20 regular fee. $550-that would be crazy right????? So people listen up-if this situation arises for you-This applies to you if you can drive to the consulate-okay maybe not...hear me out. I have now put my package together for the authentication process for the Houston Consulate, Fed Ex'd it to my very generous in-laws who are going to walk our documents into the consulate and drop them off, and then go back and pick them up-that way when this silly little piece of paper from the INS shows up I will continue with the plan of action, and take it to Austin to be certified, and then on to Houston-where now I can pay the expedited fee for just one-yes that is right- just one document(as everything else will be done at that point) saving us about $210 from the original plan. So Great Big Thank You to my MIL, and SIL who are helping more than they know. We owe you a BIG ONE!! Wish I had thought of it sooner. *This would work for you if you use Fed Ex to send the majority of your documents to the consulate, and then after you receive your I171 you could do the courier route, and pay the expedited fee-since it will be hand delievered. That would still save time and money.
I am still holding out hope that the I171 shows up today!!! Update to follow.