Lean on me!

Okay, I whined and complained enough yesterday that it got me an invite to coffee with this lovely friend
We met on our FCC waiting family board, she is a sky goddess just like me, and we live about 10 minutes apart. So I met "M" for the first time in person a few months ago, and instantly hit it off. She also has a home business making these really cute cross t-shirts(cute huh? I know you want one) Anyway enough with the twinky stuff. Bottom line, we were instant friends, it was as though we had known each other forever.
This adoption has brought so many things to my life that I would have never imagined. Friendship seems to be the real reward in this journey, and I have been truly blessed with some really amazing friends so far. I have always been fortunate to have a really tight circle of GREAT girlfriends, but this process has lead me to expand that circle to include some really amazing women.
Yesterday I was a little freaked out(now that is an understatement) and just needed to let the world know that I was feeling a little picked on. "M" instantly recognized that I needed a little TLC and Starbucks to mend my broken heart. So we met up this morning, and she brought me that incredibly cute t-shirt(you can have one too) a BIG hug, and some kind words to cheer this girl up. It worked magic, and while I still feel like this whole thing isn't fair, and a crock of crap. I realize that I am not here all by myself, and I am not feeling anything that anyone else isn't feeling. I also know that someday(hopefully sooner rather than later) I will be in a big room with all of my adoption friends watching our girls play together, and we will never think back to this crappy wait.
So anyway I will try and keep the whiny voice to a minimum, and if you have not made some adoptive friends, I heartily recommend that you head on out and find some. It helps so much have someone to complain to....mostly because you never have to wonder if they get it..... because they REALLY GET IT!!

Adoption....not for the faint at heart!

Just having one of those weeks. 9 months of waiting, 14 months since starting the process, and there is NO end in sight. Getting older by the day, both of my stepchildren will have graduated from college by the time we get our referral. We would like to think about selling our house, but don't dare as it will be way too much work, and way to expensive to change our paperwork.
I realize that there are people in the world that have REAL problems. But I am taking today to just stomp my feet, and say in my best 5 year old voice; "THIS IS NOT FAIR"
By the way if one more person tells me that they are pregnant, or that their kids drive them crazy, or to have a nice day.........I am going to scream my head off!

I find myself reading other's adoption stories, and I actually feel deep in my soul that I can't even comprehend their feelings, as it truly feels as though this will never be a reality for us. 3 years from now? I can't even go there. What would be the point? I don't need any comments on this....I just need to vent. This sucks is all I have to say!!

Okay, back to having a pity party by myself, and eating Pepperidge Farm Tahiti cookies.

* I read someone's first 5, and thought I would comment as to my first 5 each day. Not unlike this person I wake every morning thinking that someday I won't get to sleep that late, that someday I won't wake to the sound of my alarm or D showering, I will awaken to the sound of a little voice in the room across the hall. I think maybe today is the day that we will finally see a turn or a change, or maybe today is the day that we will have a more definative answer, maybe today RQ will have some good news for us, maybe today will be the day that I find out when I might become a mother.
Somedays the order changes, but the same mantra runs through each and every morning.
This week, the mornings don't seem so bright. Did I already say this SUCKS?

Run don't walk!!

Okay, run as fast as you can, do not walk, do not pass go, and do not collect $200. Instead run straight for the cookie aisle and pick up a couple of packages of Pepperidge Farm Tahiti cookies, on your way out pick up a nice box of Twinings english breakfast tea, go home and have a lovely afternoon with a friend(if you dare share one of these amazing cookies)

Let me know if you pick some up, and I will be right over.

I hate loving things that taste good! Dreaming about cookies...what a loser!

Margarita's at my house, thanks to my SP!

I know I say this every month(we aren't even suppose to be getting gifts every month) but my Secret Pal is the best. I just know she and I would be great friends. We have the same taste. I am pretty sure that she must scrapbook or make cards as she always includes really cute tags, so I can tell that she at least has the supplies to do those crafts. She makes the packaging as cute as the gift is inside which is something I pride myself on.

I just love anticipating my box arriving from my secret friend.

That cute white dress you see, well you will see it again. We will be taking a really cute beach picture in that little white frock. I love that bathing suit. Miss Katie has that suit as well. The frame will look darling in her room(which you can see is blue at this moment) Please don't think I went and forgot that I invited everyone over for margarita's. Key lime margarita's to be more precise, you are all invited over this Saturday:) See, she thinks of everything.

So my dear friend out there, thank you, thank you, thank you. I really hope you are being spoiled by your SP. I have a treat for you that I will send to Nicole and she can forward on to you. Please enjoy, and again please know that I LOVE all the gifts.

P.S. please tell your niece that I loved the picture. Long hair, hands and feet!! What more could I ask for??

The long weekend

Here we are roaring down the river. Yes that is my very buff and tan stepdaughter, D is in the front with the hat, and that is me(is that a smile on my face?) in the white hat. My BIL is across from me, and Uncle R is in the front with D.

Here we are in the middle of our horseback ride at 10,000 feet.

Well friends here we sit in the airport waiting to go home from one of the best trips we have done in a really long time. If I could recommend a trip to you for a ton of fun, great weather and amazing scenery this would be the trip. Buena Vista, Colorado.

My step-daughter is working her second summer as a raft guide. D came to visit her last summer, unfortunately I couldn't come with him. So we decided that we would make it a long weekend vacation to celebrate Father's day. We met up with my BIL and his longtime partner(they flew in from LA) on Thur and we drove to here. We stayed in the cabin that sits right on the Arkansas river. Friday morning we rose very early to drive the 1 1/2 hours to the rafting outfitters that "T" works for dropped her off and went to grab a good hearty breakfast. ***just want to interject the fact that I literally slept all of 2 hours as I was so completely freaked out about this rafting experience that I woke D up at 3:00 a.m. to tell him that there was not going to be any way that I could go, that I was terrified, and that I didn't want to hurt "T's" feelings but I just did not have it in me to go**** Needless to say I got up I decided that with my 40th birthday quickly approaching that I was not going to let this kick me in the arse, that I was going to go if it killed me......I was certain that it just might.

After we ate we headed back here and we suited up in our wetsuits(very slimming I might add)and our splash jackets as the water temperature was a balmy 50'. We got on the bus with about 17 kids from a youth group, and two other poor souls from Miami. Now on the bus ride they give you the whole safety spiel, and really try to scare you to death...if you weren't already. They do this as you are conveniently rolling past all of the rapids that you will soon be navigating. I looked at my BIL, who by the way was scared to death as well. We both had that look of: why are we doing this? and is it too late to bail?

We arrive at the putin place where fortunately for me there was a ladies room, as I used it 3 times before I actually put my body into the boat(not so easy in my slimming wetsuit) Finally we had our instructions of forward 1, forward 2, back paddle 1, and what to do if you become a "swimmer" and how to avoid boulders and rocks with our heads and spines...note to self: better to bounce off of the rocks with our feet and not our heads. Well we were finally in the boat, and moving down the Arkansas. Now I must admit that by this point I am actually feeling a little better about our situation. T seems to be in full control, the water is very cold which gives you good incentive to do whatever it takes to keep yourself in the boat. After about 15 minutes I forget that I am afraid, and I am actually having a great time. I realize that we haven't hit anything more than a class 1(bathtub experience) and we have 18 miles of river to still explore. But remarkably I along with my BIL were having a great time.

Once we started hitting some of the bigger rapids I have to say it was a ton of fun, didn't really seem that scary, and the frigid water actually felt good on our skin when we would get splashed. We didn't go into anything bigger than a class 3 rapid(it goes to 6....6 meaning you will not survive) But regardless, I was so impressed by my stepdaughter I can't even tell you. She was in charge, she knew what she was doing, she was funny, and made the trip really fun for all of us including the lucky two from Miami that were on our boat with us. We had 3 boats in on in our group.

We stopped for a nice lunch, and then back onto the river. By this point I felt very confident of my abilities(or lack thereof) Then we hit this hole that catapulted most of us into the center of the boat. My BIL landing on top of the poor little(I do mean little in a literal way) from Miami. She crawled out from underneath him(while he was apologizing profusely) and just busted out laughing. Then the whole boat broke out into full belly laughter, as thankfully no one swam, but we were drenched to say the least.

I can't begin to tell you how fun this day turned out to be. Whitewater river rafting is something that I have done before.....in Montana when I was 25 and single, and a lot more adventurous. I felt like I had been there done that, and didn't need to do it again. But I am so glad that I made myself go, as it was an experience that I will never forget, and I am glad to have seen T doing what she loves to do, and what she is incredibly good at doing. It was truly one of the most exciting days I have had in a really long time.

The next day we were scheduled to go for a 3 hour horseback ride here. I will share the story with you in the next installment of "the long weekend" I promise it will make you laugh to hear the tales of four 40 and up people atop of horses where they have not sat in over 10 years. I know you are already laughing, and I can't because it hurts too much!! So more to come.

She might not be from China, but this black haired little girl sure makes me smile.

There's a new girl in town.

Here is our new girl. Now tell me that's not cute. I am not sure if you can tell or not, but she has red hair! Yep, you heard me right. our little Meggie is showing her true Irish colors, it is absolutely red, ginger, whatever you want to call it. Can you believe that she has this much hair. Had she gone to term there would have been enough hair for the full on bow-head look. She is a girl after her Aunt J's heart.

They are already giving her formula and breast milk(about 4 days earlier than planned) because she is doing so well. We were wrong on her weight(even on the birth certificate) she really weighed 3 lbs 8 oz, and when you are that small, and a girl it is important to have all the details right. However the stork is wrong in the front yard(didn't get that correction until it was too late) Meggie's mommy came home today. She said it was very hard to leave her behind. But she will be to visit everyday, and we hope that since all the nurses say she is a lean mean fighting machine that she will hopefully only be there for 4 weeks.

So I know you are oooohhhhing and gooooooooing right along with me. I just can't get over how cute she looks for being so early. We were all really expecting her to look like a baby bird for a few weeks. But instead we have a real red headed beauty on our hands.

***** I know you aren't looking to see pictures of woi, but please know that this is not the greatest of pictures of Aunt J, but was the best one to give you a good size perspective. I had not had more than 6 hours of sleep, or any make up the entire time I was there. Plus you can see the results of taking the kids to the pool everyday, and by the time I was done putting sunscreen on them, it never made it to my body. So while the kids never burnt, I can't say the same for myself. Oh how I will look forward to the day when I am looking like this all the time:)*****

The stork dropped off an extra one

It is with great pleasure that we announce the birth of Megan Josephine. She was born this morning at 6:13 a.m. weighing in at a whopping 3 lbs 4 oz and she is approx 13 1/2 inches long. She came out crying, and is doing remarkably well considering that she is 9 weeks early. She is breathing on her own, and they are only having to give her antibiotics, and IV fluids. We feel very lucky that she is doing so well, there are a lot of babies in the NICU that are so much smaller than Meggie. She has tons of strawberry blond hair, and looks just like Jack did as a baby. So what could be cuter??

Her Mommy is doing pretty well considering this was her 3rd C-section. She is scheduled home on Sunday. Meggie will follow behind in about 4-6 weeks. They usually keep them until their due date, but because she was actually pretty big(that is relative, considering her diaper would not even fit on a doll) they seem to think 6 weeks will be her max stay at the Ritz Carleton.

I have been so busy with Jack and Katie, that I am brain dead and a bad aunt as I showed up at the hospital without my camera.
So I will have to post pictures over the weekend of our beautiful girl.

Thanks for all of the well wishes, and I can't wait for you to see what a beauty she is.
I am headed home tomorrow, and hopefully will be back when Meggie arrives home.
I look forward to the day I can hold, and love on her.
It has been a very long road to this little miracle.

I will try to post while we are in Houston for the big HS reunion(that D is claiming he is not interested in attending anymore) too bad....we're going.

Here I go again

I know it seems like all I do is go out of town, but here I go again.

My best friend(keeper of the nest) has been on bed rest now for 13 weeks, she is 30 weeks pregnant with her 3rd child(a girl-Meggie) and while I was on the phone with her on Friday her water broke(not completely, but it broke) By the miracle of modern medicine they are able to feed her antibiotics, and keep her in the hospital while they also give her steroids to help the baby's lungs and final brain development progress. They said they can possibly keep her like this for up to 4 weeks! Who knew??
So in the mean time Jack and Katie( my two darlings) are being passed from neighbor to neighbor to friend, to babysitter. So Aunt J is on her way for the week to help out. So we will be at the pool each day, trying to enjoy summer as every other 3 & 5 year old are this summer, and not thinking about the fact that mommy is in the hospital.
So I will be there until Friday, and then we are headed back to Houston to take my MIL home(sorry I am going to miss her last week here visiting with us, can't wait to see what she does with my yard while I am gone) while we are in Houston we will also be going to D's 30 year HS class reunion(now that should be fun)
So I am outta here, and wishing a happy week to those who will see their child's face for the first time, and hoping the numbers will look better than forecasted.
I will return with good pictures, some good stories, and hopefully a good tan!

Please keep the keeper of the nest in your thoughts, she could use some good karma right about now.
Adios