It often occurs to me that as we are making our way through this journey; that Avery hasn't even been born yet. Her mother is pregnant with her, and unfortunately is praying that she is pregnant with a son, or in a state of panic wondering how she is expected to give up her child if it is not a boy. I am not sure living in our culture that we would ever be able to understand the reality of such wishes and prayers, or of that sacrifice. Regardless of the thousands of times it happens each year in China; a baby being abandoned (which by the way is illegal) each birthmother must just feel a pain in her heart that I would have to assume could never go away. Being a step-mother can only give me a tiny peek into the world of motherhood, but from that peek, and my relationship with my stepchildren I feel very certain that this is nothing but a very painful decision.
So it finds me thinking that if I were to guess, Avery will be born sometime between December 06' and February 07'. I know as that time approaches I will be constantly thinking and praying for Avery's safety, for her health and for her emotional well being. But I will be praying for her mother to find some peace in her decision, and hope that she will know in her heart that there is a family that is counting the days, weeks, months and maybe years before we can go pick Avery up, and bring her home. It breaks my heart to know that I will never be able to thank her for her enormous sacrifice-because of her sacrifice I will receive the greatest gift ever imaginable: motherhood.
Our final decision to adopt was discussed over one profound sentence: Everyone deserves a family. We have a family to offer, and the ability to change the course of someone's life. We don't often get the opportunity to make the world a little better then we found it, but we will take this opportunity and hope that if we can make Avery's world even half as great as she is going to make ours-we will be doing something remarkable.
So our child may not have been born, but we have many wishes for her.
May you always see beauty in the world
and hear music everyday.
May you know the touch of gental hands
and walk the peaceful way.
May the words you speak be loving,
May laughter see you through,
May you be blessed with hope and joy-
These gifts we wish for you.
Theresa May Grass
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1 comment:
This is great, Julie! I just wanted to leave the first comment and say that your family is perfect and Avery will be such a lucky little girl and I am sure that as God grows your family, it will be a blessing to all. I hope that when people watch your journey, that they will see the hand of God working in your lives and know that this is surely what God has planned.
Much love to you and yours,
Susannah
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