Just having one of those weeks. 9 months of waiting, 14 months since starting the process, and there is NO end in sight. Getting older by the day, both of my stepchildren will have graduated from college by the time we get our referral. We would like to think about selling our house, but don't dare as it will be way too much work, and way to expensive to change our paperwork.I realize that there are people in the world that have REAL problems. But I am taking today to just stomp my feet, and say in my best 5 year old voice; "THIS IS NOT FAIR"
By the way if one more person tells me that they are pregnant, or that their kids drive them crazy, or to have a nice day.........I am going to scream my head off!
I find myself reading other's adoption stories, and I actually feel deep in my soul that I can't even comprehend their feelings, as it truly feels as though this will never be a reality for us. 3 years from now? I can't even go there. What would be the point? I don't need any comments on this....I just need to vent. This sucks is all I have to say!!
Okay, back to having a pity party by myself, and eating Pepperidge Farm Tahiti cookies.
* I read someone's first 5, and thought I would comment as to my first 5 each day. Not unlike this person I wake every morning thinking that someday I won't get to sleep that late, that someday I won't wake to the sound of my alarm or D showering, I will awaken to the sound of a little voice in the room across the hall. I think maybe today is the day that we will finally see a turn or a change, or maybe today is the day that we will have a more definative answer, maybe today RQ will have some good news for us, maybe today will be the day that I find out when I might become a mother.
Somedays the order changes, but the same mantra runs through each and every morning.
This week, the mornings don't seem so bright. Did I already say this SUCKS?
7 comments:
Total suck.
Girl - your feelings and experience is just as "real" as those people with, as you said, "REAL" problems. and, no you are not alone in your pity party. If I had some Tahiti cookies, I would join along with you. Maybe later....
Hugs, you. XO
Thanks for your comment and I added your blog to my favorites list. I know how much today sucked. I wish I could make rhyme or reason of why things happen the way they do. There's still the chance that either one of us could get the call.
We'll be bottling wine at Su Vino winery right in downtown Grapevine. I'm sure you're familiar with it. We love the wine.
I'm with ya, sister. Suck to the 10th power.
Pity parties are okay. We need them to stay grounded. And this does suck. This isnt exactly what we signed up for.
Sister, get outta my head. I'm right there with ya.... save me a cookie (or maybe a few bags)! God I wished we lived closer...
Your problems are real. Everything you wrote is so true to anyone who has been there or is there - your honesty captured the feeling of waiting perfectly.
Sending good thoughts your way...
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